No kids, no husband, only myself.
I am traveling to visit my Papa and my Gram one last time before this baby inside me places limits on how far I may travel.
This is very possibly the last time I will see my Papa this side of death and Jesus' return.
This is a difficult journey. One that I wish I did not have to take.
I heard it said on Sunday that storms rip away the surface and the shallow and expose what is truly there.
In both the storm of Kristina and the storm of Papa, I find that I do not like what is revealed.
I desire comfort above character; I want my own plans to be fulfilled even though I know that God's plan is so much better; I want to avoid pain, for myself and for those that I love, at almost any cost.
Only God can change me, can fix my broken heart so that I am able to desire what He desires.
I am brought back once again to the realization that God does not promise that we will have pain-free lives. He, in fact, promises the opposite.
(Jesus speaking to His disciples) In this world you will have trouble. ~ John 16.33Yet I read the entire verse and I cling to the last of His words. I cling to what God does truly promise.
I have told you these things so that in Me, you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world!Take heart!
Part of me is able to recognize that those are much greater promises.
A large part of me, however, still seeks that life without heartache and pain.
All I can do for now is to cling to Jesus' words, to the things that He has promised, as I wait for the day when my heart will be whole and undivided, the day when I truly will understand and know that it has all been worth it.
Peace I leave with you; My peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. ~ John 14.27
One day, John knew, Heaven would come down and mend God's broken world and make it our true, perfect home once again... And he knew then that the ending of The Story was going to be so great, it would make all the sadness and tears and everything seem like just a shadow that is chased away by the morning sun. ~ The Jesus Storybook Bibleart credit: painting is Gethsemane by Carl Bloch